I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
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