I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
