I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Sorry about my life...
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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