We're facebook friends in real life
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize
