The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
