how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
