I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
