I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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