I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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