Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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