D3 body, D1 cock
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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