If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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