I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Randomize
