god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
