Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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