They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Randomize
