he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
