i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
