The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Randomize
