Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
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She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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