i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
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