Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
