Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I feel like abortions should bother me more
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize