Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
