I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
