ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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