What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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