And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
