I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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