WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
