Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.

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(586): matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet. http://tfl.nu/32zr

Replies (19) Good night (1309) Bad night (1309)
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(917): View more from New York City

i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.

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(917): i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again. http://tfl.nu/ig6s

Replies (35) Good night (758) Bad night (3934)
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(206): View more from Washington

Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.

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(206): Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry. http://tfl.nu/kkw8

Replies (7) Good night (3937) Bad night (844)
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(904): View more from Florida

I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...

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(904): I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem... http://tfl.nu/1w4y

Replies (43) Good night (5721) Bad night (924)
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(727): View more from Florida

I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class

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(727): I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class http://tfl.nu/b4xz

Replies (49) Good night (5516) Bad night (1011)
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(303): View more from Colorado

i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk

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(303): i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk http://tfl.nu/s9es

Replies (25) Good night (6166) Bad night (1140)
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(505): View more from New Mexico

He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.

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(505): He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued. http://tfl.nu/19hy

Replies (40) Good night (11367) Bad night (3230)
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(636): View more from Missouri

A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.

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(636): A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it. http://tfl.nu/t9xf

Replies (31) Good night (20553) Bad night (1688)
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(205): View more from Alabama

When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'

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(205): When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life' http://tfl.nu/863e

Replies (26) Good night (7028) Bad night (1172)
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.

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(401): Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name. http://tfl.nu/4teg

Replies (13) Good night (6561) Bad night (2356)
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(503): View more from Oregon

Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.

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(503): Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously. http://tfl.nu/epia

Replies (10) Good night (864) Bad night (5341)
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(713): View more from Texas

I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.

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(713): I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it. http://tfl.nu/p4p1

Replies (9) Good night (1545) Bad night (599)
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(+61): View more from Australia

I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.

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(+61): I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that. http://tfl.nu/nlmq

Replies (2) Good night (399) Bad night (965)
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(845): View more from New York

I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.

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(845): I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk. http://tfl.nu/pg5c

Replies (2) Good night (456) Bad night (1111)
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(727): View more from Florida

Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love

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(727): Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love http://tfl.nu/6r91

Replies (2) Good night (943) Bad night (245)

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