I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...