Texts From Last Night

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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay

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  (781): So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay http://tfl.nu/35ja
  Replies (11) Good night (4799) Bad night (1483)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"

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  (208): he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something" http://tfl.nu/rcyf
  Replies (26) Good night (7585) Bad night (1352)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.

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  (402): The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier. http://tfl.nu/7vbg
  Replies (8) Good night (809) Bad night (3362)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma

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  (484): I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma http://tfl.nu/d8kr
  Replies (9) Good night (956) Bad night (3295)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(

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  (732): Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :( http://tfl.nu/fasb
  Replies (8) Good night (1070) Bad night (3116)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...

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  (570): Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings... http://tfl.nu/2ar0
  Replies (6) Good night (977) Bad night (2147)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.

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  (519): You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you. http://tfl.nu/7uzq
  Replies (5) Good night (1931) Bad night (1070)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.

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  (774): I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you. http://tfl.nu/ievp
  Replies (8) Good night (1992) Bad night (703)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night

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  (630): I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night http://tfl.nu/4uc3
  Replies (8) Good night (1333) Bad night (690)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic

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  (414): Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic http://tfl.nu/n8i2
  Replies (1) Good night (1172) Bad night (494)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.

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  (716): I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you. http://tfl.nu/7kt1
  Replies (7) Good night (1145) Bad night (513)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.

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  (218): I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over. http://tfl.nu/5car
  Replies (4) Good night (1580) Bad night (370)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??

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  (304): Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun?? http://tfl.nu/lwzi
  Replies (3) Good night (915) Bad night (499)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS

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  (609): Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS http://tfl.nu/rllj
  Replies (3) Good night (426) Bad night (657)
• Favorite

  (559): View more from California

  Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.

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  (559): Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle. http://tfl.nu/b5en
  Replies (1) Good night (563) Bad night (288)

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