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• (678): View more from Georgia

  I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.

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  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.

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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.

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• (760): View more from California

  I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.

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  19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.

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• (843): View more from South Carolina

  I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.

  (561): View more from Florida

  Your mother would be so proud

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• (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.

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• (719): View more from Colorado

  It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single

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• (714): View more from California

  So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.

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• (828): View more from North Carolina

  We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is

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