Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn