Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(904): View more from Florida

So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5

(312): View more from Illinois

Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy

Fav 2 1229 753
share tweet
(805): View more from California

She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up

Fav 36 1183 3906
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(214): View more from Texas

She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love

Fav 51 20434 1218
share tweet
(214): View more from Texas

so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings

(1-214): View more from Texas

dont u have athletes foot?

Fav 27 1460 5981
share tweet
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
Read it at the TFLN blog
(980): View more from North Carolina

You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.

Fav 12 2376 3565
share tweet
(601): View more from Mississippi

There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.

Fav 9 1972 5114
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(617): View more from Massachusetts

I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...

Fav 21 1512 5251
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(305): View more from Florida

We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.

Fav 3 999 622
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(703): View more from Virginia

i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.

Fav 0 16 25
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT