Texts From Last Night

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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.

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  (859): I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver. http://tfl.nu/rtt7
  Replies (2) Good night (803) Bad night (2902)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  how drunk are you?

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  What does that even mean anymore?

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  (612): how drunk are you? (952): What does that even mean anymore? http://tfl.nu/4vkm
  Replies (10) Good night (5125) Bad night (722)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.

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  (937): I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide. http://tfl.nu/dybq
  Replies (4) Good night (3003) Bad night (813)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.

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  (802): i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please. http://tfl.nu/g6pa
  Replies (5) Good night (4026) Bad night (1379)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.

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  (801): He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex. http://tfl.nu/rz6s
  Replies (12) Good night (4191) Bad night (900)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.

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  (917): Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree. http://tfl.nu/ljt4
  Replies (16) Good night (2882) Bad night (1530)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"

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  (603): You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet" http://tfl.nu/9891
  Replies (2) Good night (3607) Bad night (627)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.

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  (701): Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle. http://tfl.nu/xafh
  Replies (9) Good night (1280) Bad night (1930)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.

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  (701): Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore. http://tfl.nu/9hf8
  Replies (5) Good night (1842) Bad night (563)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess

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  (215): before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess http://tfl.nu/dqew
  Replies (15) Good night (1949) Bad night (1034)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......

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  (313): She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut....... http://tfl.nu/dh75
  Replies (6) Good night (683) Bad night (876)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.

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  (704): I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina. http://tfl.nu/8h1n
  Replies (9) Good night (613) Bad night (295)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?

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  (712): How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober? http://tfl.nu/4zoo
  Replies (4) Good night (482) Bad night (254)
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  (716): View more from New York

  Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning

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  (716): Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning http://tfl.nu/8997
  Replies (2) Good night (407) Bad night (161)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.

  (1-724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it

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  (724): My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe. (1-724): I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it http://tfl.nu/uinn
  Replies (5) Good night (699) Bad night (211)

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