My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
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So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
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idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.