Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
