im having a threesome with these popsicles
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Is it because I queefed?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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