Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
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I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
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Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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