I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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