yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
handjob tips. give me some.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Sober January is a disaster.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
