No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
