you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
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