i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize
