I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
