He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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