how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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