Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
