The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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