It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
too bad you live with your parents still
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
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