Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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