...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
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