a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
