so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
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i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
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Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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