Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
When are your genitals available?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
