Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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