I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
