Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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