it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
