Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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