I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
