I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
