i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
