the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
