Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
