left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
